Fear of…

The fear of rejection is a pretty big reason why I didn’t start blogging sooner. As I mentioned in my very first post, I was… Who am I kidding. I still am afraid that people will know too much about me and they won’t like what they learn. I write and have gotten such amazing support and encouragement from my Blogging101 classmates, friends, and family and still I’m nervous to click ‘Publish’.

When I lost my job a few years ago, I felt ‘rejected’, as though the reason they let me go was personal and not a business decision to downsize. I applied for so many jobs. Some of them I actually heard from saying “thanks. But no thanks.” Others I just never heard from.

I read (and commented on) Finding My Inner Zen’s post earlier today about being ‘rejection proof‘ (thanks to the assignment for Day 8). And it got me thinking about rejection and whether or not I am any good at dealing with it.

Just because I’m afraid of it doesn’t mean that I can’t handle it. Right? RIGHT!

A fairly amusing rejection story that I have goes back to high school. My friends all wanted to go to the Junior Prom. I didn’t really want to go but I finally gave in and said I would go. But who would I go with? Well, first of all, I really didn’t feel like wearing a dress. Buying a prom dress is expensive and time consuming and they aren’t always comfortable. SO I decided I would wear a tux. My mom made my pants and top and I rented a tuxedo jacket.

I didn’t sit around and wait for someone to ask me to the prom because I knew that the boys were scared of rejection. (Who isn’t at 16?)  I asked 1 guy to the prom and told him that I was going to wear pants. He said no. This happened 5 more times! I finally told my friends to go without me. They already had dates. Turned down 6 times. Just because I wanted to be comfortable!

I finally found one guy, a friend who went to a different school, who would go with me even if I wore pants. He said “only if I get to wear a dress.” He didn’t wear the dress but he did go with me to the prom.

My job search a few years ago happened over the summer. So I was able to be outside and spend time with my son for 3 months while looking for a job. I think I handled being laid off and other job hunt rejections pretty well basking in the sunshine.

There are so many other times that I was turned down and felt rejected. I made it through. I did not fall into a pit of despair. I found the positive side, the silver lining.

Does it mean I’m ‘rejection proof’? I don’t think so.

But I am waiting for the next post on Finding My Inner Zen to learn more about it. Because maybe I am. Or maybe I can become ‘rejection proof.’

“A little nudge of encouragement goes a long way.” – My Baby Brother

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