Time to Detox

We all know that toxins are bad. We make sure that we don’t have toxins in our food. We don’t want pesticides on our fruits and vegetables. We know when something is bad by the way it smells or the way it looks. (Although if you ask Dear Husband, guacamole is bad because it ‘looks weird’ but what does he know. ūüôā )

Our bodies will reject things that are poisonous. We vomit when we’ve eaten something that we are allergic to or something that has gone bad. We vomit when we’ve had too much alcohol. (I might know a thing or 2 about one of these examples.)

Do you ever think about the things you put ON your body? Like sunscreen, shampoo, lotions, and bug spray. Well, we should consider¬†those things, too. I haven’t been great about avoiding the bad stuff but I did find a really awesome website where I can find just about everything that is natural and/or organic for my family and me. Even cleaning products! Earth Unsown¬†is something worth checking out.¬†It makes keeping toxins off my body a bit easier!

We all know, generally speaking, how to detox our bodies.no toxic.JPG

  • Stop drinking alcohol
  • Stop smoking
  • Stop eating sugary and fried foods
  • Cut back on the empty calories like iceberg lettuce and start eating better greens like kale
  • Start drinking lemon water to help bring our bodies back to alkaline
  • Have some apple cider vinegar (with the Mother) to help boost our immune system
  • Drink water. Lots of water!

While I wholeheartedly support ‘cleaning up our act’, I really want to talk about a toxin which we may not even realize we have in our lives. Sometimes we’re so used to it that we don’t even see that it’s toxic. We have even gone so far as to make excuses to explain why we can’t get rid of it.

People.

More specifically, Toxic People.

Sounds a little strange… ‘toxic¬†people‘. But they exist. I’m sure if you really think about it there is someone who you can call ‘toxic’ in your life.

It’s difficult to define what this phrase means but toxic people have a negative effect on us. Plain and simply put, they make us feel icky!

I am not an expert by any means. However, I am sure that someone who is toxic to me may not be toxic to you. The same person who drains me emotionally may lift you up. There isn’t a way to ‘profile’ a toxic person.

not-a-bad-friend

All I know for sure is that you should get them out of your life, if you can. I say ‘if you can’ because it is not easy. These people are manipulative and controlling. They can guilt us into continuing a relationship. And the hardest reason of all… They are family.

I have had toxic people in my life. More than one, in fact. I didn’t recognize them as ‘toxic’ while I was in the relationship. Nor did I realize how badly they messed me up until after it was all over.

When I was in college, I dated a guy ‘back home’. People, including my closest friends, told me he was no good. But I was young and ‘in love’. He was incredibly manipulative! It was a year and a half from start to finish. I had lost myself, my amazingly confident self.

But I had (and still have) some amazing and true friends who where there to pick up the pieces and remind me who I was. Who I am. I was able to detox!

There was another person. This time a close and dear female friend. She was so kind and thoughtful. She was a little high maintenance but she was fun. We hung out all the time. We were at each other’s weddings. We helped each other move and fix up our new homes. We were great friends!

After a significant event in my life I started to see that I had been making excuses for her. I saw that she was selfish. She had to have everything her way. When we were out one night, she blatantly glossed over my sadness because she was upset that her crush left town.

When I tried talking with her about her actions she gave me the “oh my gosh, I had no idea! I am so sorry!” bull. I finally got up the nerve to tell her she was not nice to me. She was too wrapped up in her own looks and life to really be there for me. She did NOT like what I had to say.

It was really tough but I ended that friendship. And it truly felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest! I was able to breathe without fear of hurting her feelings. Dear Husband was finally able to tell me how he felt (about her) without my getting upset or defending her.

Removing toxicity from your life is important. Those toxins take on many forms. Unfortunately, sometimes, they come in the form of loved ones. I feel strongly that in order for us to be the BEST us, we¬†need to get rid of all of the things that make us feel ‘icky’. ¬†It is sad and really, really hard when that comes in the form of people we care about. It is also really, really¬†difficult for us to watch someone we love cling to the people they feel they are supposed to keep in their lives even though every time the toxic people ‘pop up’ the person that we love becomes a miserable mess for days.

What we should do does not always align with what will make us healthy. 

I wish I had an easy answer for you. I wish that I could tell you what to do with a definitive action. But I can’t. You need to do what you feel is the best for you. I will always support you in whatever your decision is. I am not sure that I will ever be in your shoes and go through what you are going through but I can offer support and love.

I wonder… Maybe removing that toxic person from your life will also be releasing them from what they feel is an obligation, too.

Please, share with me your ‘toxin’ story. I want to offer my support for your situation. Maybe an impartial third party can be the perfect sounding board. I will be your ‘stranger on the train.’

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4 thoughts on “Time to Detox

  1. This is a fantastic topic, Teressina! I couldn’t agree more. I totally agree with you that the hardest part of extracting toxic people from our lives is even recognizing it in the first place. Like you say, for a long time we will be so entrenched that we won’t even realize how toxic it is. I had a former female friendship very similar to the one you were describing. I always knew she was somewhat high maintenance, but I didn’t give it a ton of thought for a long time. Finally after a while it just got worse and worse. She was so high maintenance that if I didn’t pick up the phone on the first ring (no matter what time of day, even at work or while sleeping!), she would yell at me and say I was being a bad friend. The pressure to always be there was so hard to cope with. On top of that, it was all one-sided. Each time we got together or talked, it was just her talking at me for a solid hour or two, talking about her life and her problems. I ended each conversation feeling mentally drained. Finally one day I had had enough, and I just told her so. I told her that it was too one-sided and that her expectations were way too high to be realistic, and that that put a lot of pressure on me. Her non-stop yelling at me and nagging made me feel like a horrible person, which I know I’m not. When I finally cut the cord and extracted her from my life entirely, I seriously felt like a brand new person. As you say, it was as if a great weight were lifted!

    Thank you for sharing this! ‚̧

    Liked by 2 people

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